Consenting Rick
by HookahSocialism
Summary: With so many fanfics bordering on snuff with the incest, childXadult, and other fetishes vs the systematic oppression of others to express their sexuality... Rick and Summer have a heart to heart about the value of consent in a relationship.


Rick is on the couch with a sci-fi looking cellphone with alien pictures being swiped.

"Left swipe left swipe left swipe left swipe..."

He kicks his feet

"Jesus (belch) Christ! Why are all these women such whores and worthless?! FUCK!"

Summer happened to be walking by and hears Rick ranting and points her finger at him.

"Grandpa you are SUCH an arrogant conservative shit! I know you're old but comeon! Its 2017. If a woman wants to have sex with whomever, whenever, than who are you or anyone for that matter too..."

As she rambles Rick takes a big gulp from his flask looking bored.

"Yeahyeah Summer. muh consent. consent is the only factor in determining anything isn't it?"

"YES!"

"Soooo lets say I wanted to sex up a child."

"Well no cause..."

"Oh NOOOOWWWW its cause. Yeah your grandpa should have to die alone because he doesnt want his dick inside nasty, emotionally unstable coochie, but when the kids are involved..."

"But children cant consent Rick you know that! They're mentally undeveloped!"

"Ohhhh so lets force everyone to have an IQ test than. God knows (burp) it'd make a better messuring stick than this plz only men over six foot and six figure income."

"You're hyperbowling me again Rick. You know damn well a state mandate is not..."

"Who said anything about state mandate? I could...(BELCH) implant subconsciouss radio waves in people's heads...right now. They'd choose it all on their own the same way society regards beauty and stature with this crude primitive way of decades of social norms, neo-liberal economics, and sitcom shows. This isnt even an effecient way to brainwash people into this degenerate lifestyle."

"Well I..."

Rick gets up.

"Or how bout incest huh Summer? How bout i go plow your mom right now?"

"My mom is your daughter Rick Christ."

"Yup (burp...) and we can have some retard Rick baby and than once enough little retard Ricks are in the world people will start to say gee wiz...maybe we SHOULD base our subjective preferences on something a little more tangible. Not that we're entitled to preferences BECAUSE WE'RE ALL WORTHLESS WHORES TO BEGIN WITH!"

He throws the phone at Summer and she ducks.

"You are more drunk than usual Rick!"

"Why stop there Summer?! Maybe me and Beth can have a three way with some third world sixteen year old like Kevin Spacey since you just looove consent so much! Im sure that brothel bitch would very much consent to a bed and food everyday at the low cost and sucking my saggy old man balls."

"Fine Rick. Whatever...you win."

"Nono Summer. Please continue! Tell me more about how great it is to live in a post feminist society where 80% of the female population is orbiting 20% of the guys like some backward ass gorilla society! That is until they hit the wall...than yeah, theyll concede to going down to the 60% margin. In a loveless marriage like yoj and your oh so happy father are in."

Jerry is at work and opens the drawyer with a gun inside. He stares for a moment and sighs. "No Jerry...you gotta be strong for your family."

"Ok but like..."

"HMMMM in fact it seems to me the only consent that is validated is the one that fits juuust perfectly into the model of a capitalist society that predicates on humoring both its right and left wing ideologies so as not to arouse some sortof dishoctomy that endangers the system. Why not have your cake and eat it too? Suck all the fucking dicks you want...than YOU FOUND JESUS. YOU DONT LIVE THAT KINDA LIFE ANYMORE and noone ever ever ever can judge you for it. But people will judge you Summer...theyll just judge you for stupid shit that doesnt matter. Because their moral gauge is completely shot! You'd have been better off being a retard Rick drooling and coloring outside the lines than what you call a life in this piss stain!"

"I...well...you just sound like a bitter brocialist!"

"Oooh whats the matter Summer? Did i touch a nerve?! Did I get just a little too close to forcing you to self reflect? Now you gotta try and pull back and hope you can exploit some chink in my armor with quips about my bigotries and shortcomings as if im sooo insecure id suddenly stop giving a fuck about how right I am? Comeon bitch you wanted to go lets go!"

"I didnt want to start a fight Rick. I just wanted you to respect women more!"

"Than do it!"

He tosses her a little box with a button on it she catches her in her palms.

"Press that button and the entire mental cognition of the worlds population of women will change DRAMATICALLY. They'll be something worth respecting than...or you could drop it. Pretend everything is fine. The clock is ticking Summer. I got other shit to do... Maybe you can go run and tattle on old grandpa and get him banned from some more websites. God knows how important your delusions are. Ohhhhh but youre soooo much better than those CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS! Even though (belch uhh) you and every left capitalist faggot like you has waaay more to gain than I do. Best case scenario is I end up with some fat chick who hasn't slept with ten dudes and just expects me to work a dead end job I hate to support a family so she can still feel like shes contributing to a society that doesn't even know she exists. OH WAIT, THAN YOU'D BE YOUR MOTHER. A WOMAN'S GREATEST FEAR! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

Lightning strikes in the background as he laughs. Summer looks at the box, looks at Rick with a squinting glare, than right infront of him shoves the box up her vagina.

"I consented..."

"Huh...did not see that coming. A little proud of you actually."

Rick lays back down on the couch, and pulls out another phone.

"Left swipe left swipe left swipe..."


End file.
